The reasons for divorce are varied. There are many problems that need to be addressed, but spouses do not always manage to cope.
How to become a perfect spouse?
The basis for creating and becoming a happy and strong family is the recognition by a woman that her chosen one is an ideal man. Ideal people do not happen - everyone has flaws and advantages, but women tend to find a man whose shortcomings are compensated by positive qualities.
The mistake of men seeking to return his wife is considered excessive perseverance. Give her the opportunity to be alone, so she thought it over, tried to live without you. In no case do not achieve the result by:
- desire to cause pity.
In order for a wife to return, give her the opportunity to see in you a man and a spouse, and not an ex-husband whom she knew. We'll have to try to work on character, to become better, change or get rid of bad habits. Just knowing that you are changing for the better for her will make you think seriously about the prospect of a return.
How optimistic to set up and support yourself?
Lack of support is the reason why men fail in trying to get their wife back. The abandoned woman is strongly supported, reassured, distracted and overwhelmed by her relatives and friends, and rarely anyone who helps is abandoned by a man. Therefore, remember the three rules that will help return your beloved or calmer and less painful experience the rupture of the marital relationship
- Think judiciously and soberly. Feelings of resentment, despair, jealousy will play a cruel joke and push upon unnecessary, senseless or harmful acts. Go to contact with your beloved only after you suppress the remnants of emotions in yourself and do it sincerely, and not trying to hide a sober mind behind the mask.
- There are several models of human behavior that characterize him as a weak personality.. In matters related to the disintegration of the family, poor behavior is manifested in hysteria and scandals, threats and reproaches, attempts to cause pity. Know your own worth and remember that a woman will not return to her husband - whiner or her husband - hysterical.
- Havematter your wife’s desire, even if it is directed against you and does not correspond to your life goals. Perhaps the last piece of advice is paradoxical, but accept the fact that she left you and may be trying to find a husband. Lack of selfish inclinations will quickly get rid of the burden of negative emotions, and at the same time, the former wife will understand that you gave her the independence that she wanted. She will further consider the prospect of a return.
After giving yourself time and getting rid of the negative influence of emotions, weigh all the pros and cons and make the right decision.
10 most common mistakes abandoned husbands
If you want to return the wife, tune in to solve the problem. If you love her and seriously intend to return - you will need a lot of work on yourself, which is necessary for you to become not the person from whom your spouse has left. To make the process effective, learn how best not to act. Men make mistakes that reduce the chances of success.
1. Search for logical reasons for the return of his wife
Returning a wife with logical arguments makes no sense. Women and men act according to different logical principles. Additionally, by seeking logical arguments, you will pass them through the prism of emotions and experiences, which are designed to save you from suffering. A woman will understand the selfish intentions that will aggravate the problem, even if at the same time you are trying to recreate the family.
2. The behavior of henpecked
The reasons for divorce are different. It often happens that a divorce is triggered by a male act. A man feels guilty for doing wrong, and this is normal. However, trying to make amends by pampering your wife is wrong, especially if she decided to divorce. A woman wants to be carried in her arms. She will not return to the henpecked, realizing that a good relationship will end at any time after returning to the family.
3. Pleas for forgiveness
The problem is related to the error described above. Sometimes leaving his wife and divorce knocks even strong and persistent men out of the rut. Many try to rectify the situation with pleas and requests. So lose respect and become an object for manipulation. For a while this will return the location, but if a strong candidate appears on the horizon, she will leave, and pleading with requests will not help.
4. A large number of gifts
Women love gifts, especially if they are beautiful or original. Some husbands use it for their own purposes. Permanent gifts, daily bouquets of flowers and expressions of sympathy often provide a negative effect. Showered with gifts, be sure that she will take it as an attempt to buy feelings. It does not like and push away from you.
5. Confessions of love
An error in which it is easy to draw analogies with the previous one. A woman wants to hear from her husband that she is loved by him, but if a man is already a former and repeats about feelings continuously, it causes negative emotions. A woman should see love in deeds, in deeds and behavior, not in words.
6. The law of mutual attractiveness
I think you noticed that what attracts you and that of a loved one. This is what you use in trying to get your beloved back. Think about what attracted you to her place, and try to match the result of reflection. This will achieve the effect and bring it closer to it, even if you are at a distance. The problem in the question is the lack of knowledge about the preferences and tastes of the wife, especially if they were hiding during their marriage. In this case, the advice of her relatives will help if she is not opposed to you.
Some men think that by allowing themselves to be controlled and manipulated, they will give the wife what she needs. To a certain extent, this is so, because there is a certain type of women who seek to subjugate her husband. Remember, transferring control over yourself, do not last long. Ongoing control will depress you that you want to leave it. Control is often not harmless. If you do not want scandals, quarrels, reproaches and insults in your address - do not allow yourself to be controlled, even if you like. Mutual understanding and finding solutions that are optimal for both parties is the best way to resolve a conflict situation.
8. Material blackmail
Modern men do not realize that the role and function of the breadwinner and the breadwinner of the family is within the power of the woman, especially if after the divorce she lives alone. Attempts to keep his wife, explaining that she can not provide for herself - a common mistake of those who want to return his beloved. Such behavior causes a desire to retire or prove that it does not depend on material means. Besides, to admit the idea that the wife does not build a career and does not earn a living is foolish. If the spouse has the courage and determination to break off the relationship - be sure, she can earn money.
When a woman leaves, she strives for independence. Men do not realize the need to give what she needs. Representatives of the strong half of humanity do not understand women's allusions. We'll have to work hard to learn to see the hints, as often women themselves give signals.
10. Refusal of assistance
Support during a divorce is important, but friends and family are rarely supported by abandoned men, believing that husbands should keep loved ones. A common male mistake is the refusal of the help of relatives and friends. The intense stress caused by the problem causes the person to snap and swear at his relatives when they offer help. Rejoice in the help and listen to the advice of relatives and friends.
If you seriously intend to return your beloved one, consider the probability of the listed errors and do everything to avoid them.